we're going to the zoo today!

Misleading title! I already went to the zoo. The great thing about having two days of class per week is that I can do things like go the beach, the zoo, downtown, or just hang out by the pool, at times that I would usually be sitting in a classroom. This is not to say that I don't hold my classes in very high priority, but it's a big change of pace going from two day weekends to five day weekends. Anyways, on to the zoo. It was a pretty good zoo, but I was sort of underwhelmed by most of the sections (especially the australian section). I guess in a place like Australia you don't really have to try too hard in your zoo, since the rest of the nation is full of awesome animals that you pretty much see on a daily basis. It was a really hot day, so most of the animals were huge slackers and napping in the shade.

Tricia (score: 7/10): Tricia was quite the independent woman, she escaped from the zoo like twice while we there there, and was also a proficient painter. However, she loses points for leaving poop all over the sidewalks.





Crocodile (score: 9/10): Intimidating, powerful, and probably ready to smash through the glass to attack at a moments notice, the crocodile was one of the fiercer contestants at the zoo. It was able to smell the fear of my friend Maya, who fears crocodiles, and followed her movements with its sinister reptilean eyes.




Penguins! (score: 6/10): Though cute and excellent swimmers, these penguins lack original material. March of the penguins, happy feet, that disney penguin surfing movie, I mean come on. It's been done, penguins.





Long-necked turtle (score: 3/10): Though being well-known for setting certain style trends (turtleneck) popular in certain Swiss villages, this narcissistic guy was too busy checking himself out to notice his visitors. Self absorption is not something I look for in a turtle, sorry.




Monitor Lizard (score: 8/10): Huge lizard, capable of growing up to like 8 feet long, can probably eat people = BOSS. Boss in the connotation of being badass, but also in the manner that this lizard could act as an excellent boss in a video game. High level of difficulty, since it probably shoots fire out of its mouth.







Ghost bats (score: 10/10): GHOST BATS. Name something cooler. TRY. You can't.







Sun bear (score: 7/10): Symbol of purity, beauty, and bears. The sun bear was one of the most active animals at the zoo, because they feed on solar energy. Everyone knows that.










Dingo (score: 5/10): The dingo is essentially an Australian dog. It was not the most fascinating of beasts, from what I could tell. No special abilities, but it is a dingo, so props for that.






Wombat! (score: 10/10): The wombat is just great. I think this is a good time to talk about one of my classes: Australian Film and Literature, taught by PROFESSOR MOODY. Like from harry potter. Same guy, I'm pretty sure. He is very cool, seems to have an interesting view on Australian nationalism. Our first assignment is to bring an object to class that represents something quintessentially "Australian." I wish I could take a wombat. Instead, I'll use my bottle-opener shaped like a kangaroo. Trust me, I'll make it work.

Emu (score: 0/10): EMUS ARE SO ANNOYING. Stupid bird wouldn't let me take a picture of it, kept hiding behind a tree and insulting me in its stupid emu language. You suck, emu.






Echidna? (score: 6/10): Sort of an ambiguous animal, I wasn't entirely sure that it was alive since it was hiding in the sand (keeping cool in the heat, assumedly, but more likely plotting something big), but the spikes were cool. This is not a hedgehog, since it is a marsupial, although it seems to be hiding its pouch so we can't really verify this entirely.



Kangaroo (score: 10/10, of course): Since it is my lifelong goal to ride a kangaroo, I have to give them full points, in case there are any reading my blog. Shout out to all my kangaroo friends! (text me if you're offering rides)





Koala (score: 8/10): Apparently koalas hallucinate from eating like anything, so a day in the life of a koala is like: sleep for 20 hours, wake up eat/trip on acid, do other koalas, sleep again. Pretty unfair for the rest of the animal kingdom. Koalas, have you ever seen march of the penguins? You have it way too easy.




Kevin (score: N/A (bias)): At this point you might be asking yourself, "Why has Kevin been rating all of these animals on a 10 point scale? These are God's creatures, and they were all created equally!" At this point, I think I should tell you. It's been you the whole time. Judging the animals, one by one. It's been you. Now at this point you might say, "But Kevin, it hasn't been me, I've been reading a blog that you yourself wrote!" Ah, but you've forgotten that in this blog, anything can happen. Toilets can flush in the other direction, grown men can relive their childhood days, butterflies can sprout legs and race in a 5k against Roger Rabbit and Batman. At this point, you might be asking, "Is Kevin drunk, or on some kind of controlled substance?" I would respond:

No I am not. I am bored. And making dinner. (my apartment cooking skills are improving!)

Alright, that's it for now. The pasta is cooked.


<3Kevin