Thursday, March 5, 2009

Kevin's Official List of Things to Ride in Australia

Alright, it's what you've all been patiently waiting for, my OFFICIAL list of things to ride in Australia. You can put away all of those worthless pirated copies that you got off the internet, this is the real deal. As many of you know, I came to Australia with a single goal that bordered on obsession and insanity: to ride a kangaroo. Since my arrival, I've realized that there is a lot more to Australia than ride kangaroos. In retrospect, it really was kind of a childish goal. I should have known that there are so many other things to ride!

  1. Kangaroo: DONE sort of. (small plastic carousel kangaroo, for 2-6 year olds.)
  2. Manta Ray: DONE came within 3 feet of one, so I'm gonna count it. Also, WTF?
  3. Killer Whale: chances: very likely
  4. Dolphin: chances: very probable, since I'm going to Shark Bay next week.
  5. Velociraptor: chances: very low, their backs are scaly and hard to climb.
  6. Naomi Watts: chances: you tell me. what's that you say? sure thing? agreed
  7. Wave: DONE easy. surfing is a lot harder than it looks, for everyone except me.
  8. Camel: chances: high, since Australia has the most wild camels of any place on earth.
  9. Emu: only so I can tire one out, wrestle it to the ground, and kill it. I hate emus.

In closing, this is what one kilogram of bacon looks like:

MMMM. Alright, l8r.

No worries (actually maybe a little worrying about the risk of heart disease),



  1. Well, I didn't make the list in any particular order, so a problem will only really arise if I encounter, say, Naomi Watts riding a velociraptor. Even then, the clear solution is to hop on behind her and hold on tight.